British student Melissa (not pictured) used an app to romp with couples.Photo: Shutterstock
Kinky threesome dating app 3nder — pronounced “Thrinder” to rhyme with “Tinder” — is going gangbusters after it recently raised $500,000 in funding from a pair of mystery investors. New York is 3nder’s second-biggest market behind California, and it’s particularly popular with millennials. Here, 27-year-old art student and 3nder user Melissa, who asked for her last name not to be published for professional reasons, tells Jane Ridley about her wild ride on the app, which connects both singles and couples looking for group sex.
Tip-toeing towards the bathroom, I try not to wake up the two guys, Matt and Andre, sleeping soundly in the king-sized bed where the three of us have just had sex.
Tip-toeing towards the bathroom, I try not to wake up the two guys, Matt and Andre, sleeping soundly in the king-sized bed where the three of us have just had sex.
After a wild night of drinking at a bar, we wound up at the Upper East Side townhouse where Matt lives and, let’s just say, made each other very happy.
For five crazy months between August and December 2014, I was a 3nder “unicorn” — an unattached female user of the trendy dating app that matches people seeking threesomes or more.
We’re called unicorns because, like the mythical animal, we’re pretty rare. Studies say the average single woman shies away from group sex, but there’s a small but growing minority of fast-living millennial girls who can’t get enough of it.
3nder is a gift for anyone like me who wouldn’t be caught dead on Craigslist. Just likeTinder, you log on via Facebook and are presented with pictures and profiles of choice people in your area. You swipe to the right if you’re interested, or to the left if you’re not. Then you can exchange texts and phone numbers. It’s an easy way to find both couples and singles.
I joined 3nder when I arrived in Manhattan from my native England for a trimester studying in the States. I’d just broken up with my boyfriend — a complete jerk — so it was my way of giving him the finger. Besides, I didn’t know anyone in New York and thought it would be a good way of making new friends, both male and female. I was miles away from home and all about experimentation.
At first, since I was a novice, I started meeting up with just single guys such as Matt, a twenty-something Harvard-educated Internet entrepreneur from the Upper East Side, and his stockbroker friend Andre. They were both straight and we were planning a foursome with my friend who was visiting from the UK. But she lost her nerve at the last minute so it ended up being just me and the two men.
It was a fantastic, freeing experience that opened up other opportunities for me to satisfy my curiosity and sleep with women, including other unicorns. Matt was the heir to his family’s fortune and loved to organize boozy orgies at luxury hotels in Manhattan, such as The Standard.
For five crazy months, I was a 3nder “unicorn” — an unattached female user of the trendy dating app that matches people seeking threesomes or more.
But the one I enjoyed best was held at The Doubletree in Chelsea where we had a “six-way” — four women and two men. I helped Matt set up a table of wine and vodka to get people in the mood. Then it was down to it. I only had intercourse with Andre, but did a lot of foreplay with the other women. Everyone had great bodies and super-sharp minds. They were all professionals like me — an art historian, a graphic artist and a web designer, for example. Far from being seedy, it felt exciting to break with convention and have sex with whomever we wanted.
After that, I went to about five “meetings,” as we euphemistically called them, which Matt hosted with other 3nder users. I also had sex outside of Matt’s circle with outgoing girls and guys whom I can only describe as being “broad-minded” like me — once with a 30-year-old woman whose husband was supposed to join us, but couldn’t make it because he was sent out of town on business. We always were safe and used condoms.
Since I returned to London in December last year, I’ve used 3nder occasionally but have never had sex with anyone through it. Nobody I met was anywhere near the same caliber as New Yorkers. In Manhattan, my partners included lawyers, CEOs, investment bankers or owners of start-ups. In London, the men — women were very few and far between — were universally creepy.
Now I have a steady boyfriend so I’m back to being monogamous. But I know he wouldn’t object to having another woman in the mix at some point. So hopefully I’ll be swiping right on 3nder soon.
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