Sunday, August 30, 2015

Buying Sex Should Not Be Legal

from nytimes opinion

The Opinion Pages | OP-ED CONTRIBUTOR


Photo
CreditLauren Nassef
DUBLIN — HERE in my city, earlier this month, Amnesty International’s international council endorsed a new policy calling for the decriminalization of the global sex trade. Its proponents argue that decriminalizing prostitution is the best way of protecting “the human rights of sex workers,” though the policy would apply equally to pimps, brothel-keepers and johns.
Amnesty’s stated aim is to remove the stigma from prostituted women, so that they will be less vulnerable to abuse by criminals operating in the shadows. The group is also calling on governments “to ensure that sex workers enjoy full and equal legal protection from exploitation, trafficking and violence.”
The Amnesty vote comes in the context of a prolonged international debate about how to deal with prostitution and protect the interests of so-called sex workers. It is a debate in which I have a personal stake — and I believe Amnesty is making a historic mistake.
I entered the sex trade — as most do — before I was even a woman. At age 14, I was placed in the care of the state after my father committed suicide and because my mother suffered from mental illness.
Within a year, I was on the streets with no home, education or job skills. All I had was my body. At 15, I met a young man who thought it would be a good idea for me to prostitute myself. As “fresh meat,” I was a commodity in high demand.
For seven years, I was bought and sold. On the streets, that could be 10 times in a night. It’s hard to describe the full effect of the psychological coercion, and how deeply it eroded my confidence. By my late teens, I was using cocaine to dull the pain.
I cringe when I hear the words “sex work.” Selling my body wasn’t a livelihood. There was no resemblance to ordinary employment in the ritual degradation of strangers’ using my body to satiate their urges. I was doubly exploited — by those who pimped me and those who bought me.
I know there are some advocates who argue that women in prostitution sell sex as consenting adults. But those who do are a relatively privileged minority — primarily white, middle-class, Western women in escort agencies — not remotely representative of the global majority. Their right to sell doesn’t trump my right and others’ not to be sold in a trade that preys on women already marginalized by class and race.
The effort to decriminalize the sex trade worldwide is not a progressive movement. Implementing this policy will simply calcify into law men’s entitlement to buy sex, while decriminalizing pimping will protect no one but the pimps.
In the United States, prostitution is thought to be worth at least $14 billiona year. Most of that money doesn’t go to girls like my teenage self. Worldwide, human trafficking is the second largest enterprise of organized crime, behind drug cartels but on a par with gunrunning.
In countries that have decriminalized the sex trade, legal has attracted illegal. With popular support, the authorities in Amsterdam have closed down much of the city’s famous red light district — because it had become a magnet for criminal activity.
In Germany, where prostitution was legalized in 2002, the industry has exploded. It is estimated that one million men pay to use 450,000 girls and women every day. Sex tourists are pouring in, supporting “mega-brothels” up to 12 stories high.
In New Zealand, where prostitution was decriminalized in 2003, young women in brothels have told me that men now demand more than ever for less than ever. And because the trade is socially sanctioned, there is no incentive for the government to provide exit strategies for those who want to get out of it. These women are trapped.
There is an alternative: an approach, which originated in Sweden, that has now been adopted by other countries such as Norway, Iceland and Canada and is sometimes called the “Nordic model.”
The concept is simple: Make selling sex legal but buying it illegal — so that women can get help without being arrested, harassed or worse, and the criminal law is used to deter the buyers, because they fuel the market. There are numerous techniques, including hotel sting operations, placing fake ads to inhibit johns, and mailing court summonses to home addresses, where accused men’s spouses can see them.
Since Sweden passed its law, the number of men who say they have bought sex has plummeted. (At 7.5 percent, it’s roughly half the rate reported by American men.) In contrast, after neighboring Denmark decriminalized prostitution outright, the trade increased by 40 percent within a seven-year period.
Contrary to stereotype, the average john is not a loner or a loser. In America, a significant proportion of buyers who purchase sex frequentlyhave an annual income above $120,000 and are married. Most have college degrees, and many have children. Why not let fines from these privileged men pay for young women’s counseling, education and housing? It is they who have credit cards and choices, not the prostituted women and girls.
Amnesty International proposes a sex trade free from “force, fraud or coercion,” but I know from what I’ve lived and witnessed that prostitution cannot be disentangled from coercion. I believe the majority of Amnesty delegates who voted in Dublin wished to help women and girls in prostitution and mistakenly allowed themselves to be sold the notion that decriminalizing pimps and johns would somehow achieve that aim. But in the name of human rights, what they voted for was to decriminalizeviolations of those rights, on a global scale.
The recommendation goes before the board for a final decision this autumn. Many of Amnesty’s leaders and members realize that their organization’s credibility and integrity are on the line. It’s not too late to stop this disastrous policy before it harms women and children worldwide.

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

St. Paul's School Rape Trial: Accuser Tells Court 'I Felt Like I Couldn't Say No'

from NBC


by 






A 16-year-old girl who says she was raped at a prestigious New Hampshire prep school returned to the witness stand on Wednesday, describing a secret date with an older boy that turned suddenly aggressive.
The girl described her confusion as he groped her in secluded room of a campus building at St. Pail's School in Concord, New Hampshire. "I felt like I was frozen," she said through tears as she described the accused, Owen Labrie, kissing and biting her and trying to pull down her underwear.
As the groping continued, she said, "I felt like I had no control. I felt like I couldn't say no."
At one point, the girl said, she did say no. But as the alleged attack continued, she said she tried to zone out, looking at the ceiling and trying to ignore the pain.
"I didn't want to believe that this was happening to me," the girl said under questioning from Deputy Merrimack County Attorney Catherine Ruffle.
The girl was picking up where she left off Tuesday, when she began her testimony, recounting that the encounter at the school was set in motion by a surprise email invitation from Labrie. She said she took the date request to be part of a campus tradition called "senior salute," in which seniors pursued younger students in the days before graduation.
The girl, a freshman at the time, declined — but she says she was persuaded by a mutual friend to reconsider. She and Labrie met on May 30 at the Lindsay Center for Mathematics and Science.
She recalled on the stand realizing that Labrie was having sexual intercourse with her. She acknowledged that she did not protest or try to get him off of her. "I felt like I had objected as much as I felt I could at the time," she said. "Other than that, I felt powerless and weak that I couldn't do anything else."
Labrie, 19, has told police he did not have intercourse with her, and that their encounter was consensual. He will take the stand later in the trial.
His defense lawyer, Jay Carney, is expected to cross-examine the girl after she finishes answering the prosecutor's questions. Carney has said he will also present email and Facebook messages between the girl and Labrie that proves she was a willing participant.
The "senior salute" is expected to play a significant role in the trial, with prosecutors arguing that it was the basis for Labrie's alleged luring of the girl, and defense lawyers saying it helped to show the encounter was consensual.
Labrie, a housing dorm prefect who said he planned to become a minister, is charged with three counts of aggravated felony sex assault, four counts of misdemeanor sex assault, endangering the welfare of a child and using a computer to lure her to meet him via email and Facebook.
He has told police that he never had sexual intercourse with her — after putting on a condom, he experienced a "moment of divine inspiration" and stopped himself from going any farther.
 Representative of rape accuser's family: People are 'choosing sides' 3:35

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Prep School Rape Trial Opens With Email Between Victim and Alleged Attacker

from abc

Aug 18, 2015, 10:51 AM ET
By SUSANNA KIM and MICHELE McPHEE
SUSANNA KIM More From Susanna »
Business Digital Reporter


 via GOOD MORNING AMERICA





Sexual Assault Case Raises Questions About Culture at NH Prep School
AUTO START: ON OFF
Opening arguments and testimony begin today for a rape case involving an elite New Hampshire prep school that has raised questions about the campus culture.
The defendant, Owen Labrie, 19, of Tunbridge, Vermont, is a graduate of St. Paul's School in Concord, New Hampshire. He is accused of raping a 15-year old girl on campus on May 30, 2014, days before he graduated.
Labrie's attorney, Boston defense attorney J.W. Carney, displayed enlarged printouts of email exchanged between Labrie and the alleged victim before that time, including what he called "romantic" language in French.

“Neither of us were there. None of you were there. What we have to focus on is the evidence,” Carney told the jury today, asking them to zero in on the alleged victim's words about whether she was a "willing participant."
He read to the jury a text message conversation that allegedly took place after May 30 in which the alleged victim asked Labrie if he wore a condom and he asks if she was using "the pill," and the two text "haha" several times.
Labrie has pleaded not guilty to multiple felony accounts and says he did not have sexual intercourse with the student.
Wearing a dark gray blazer and white, button-down shirt, Labrie walked into the courtroom this morning as his eyes swept the packed benches taking in former classmates, family members and national media.
His parents sat in the front row on opposite ends of the bench. They are divorced, according to records.
Officials were forced to set up a standing-room-only section in the back of courthouse.
Labrie stood when the judge read the 10-count indictment: four felonies and six misdemeanors, including three counts of aggravated felonious sexual assault, as well as using a computer on-line service to seduce, lure or entice a child younger than 16.
Merrimack County Superior Court Justice Larry M. Smukler instructed the jurors to “evaluate each charge independently” before prosecutors began opening arguments.
PHOTO: Owen Labrie, seen here in an undated booking photo, has been charged with the rape of a young student on the Concord, N.H. campus of the prestigious St. Pauls School in May, 2015.
Concord New Hampshire Police
PHOTO: Owen Labrie, seen here in an undated booking photo, has been charged with the rape of a young student on the Concord, N.H. campus of the prestigious St. Paul's School in May, 2015.
The alleged victim's name has not been released because of her age and the nature of the crime.
Jury selection Monday included three women and 11 men.
Labrie was interviewed by Concord police, who said he spoke willingly about an alleged practice at the Episcopal school called a "senior salute," according to the Associated Press. He claims it involved senior boys attempting to "score" with younger female students, taking their virginity, before the boys graduated. Deputy Merrimack County Attorney Catherine Ruffle Monday said the alleged practice is "the context for this entire event," according to the Associated Press.
“He thought about this for months,” Ruffle told the jury today. “He made a plan. And he executed the plan.”
Prosecutors say that Labrie called his sexual conquests "slays" and the only person whose name was capitalized in a list was the 15-year old freshman.
Carney downplayed the sexual nature of the "senior salute" and argued that it was a tradition that's "decades" old and focused on kissing another student and not sexual intercourse.
The school, whose alumni include Secretary of State John Kerry and former FBI Director Robert Mueller, said in a statement Monday that the allegations about the school's culture are "not proven facts, and the judicial system will weigh them and determine how this case is ultimately resolved."

Monday, August 17, 2015

They Got Married in Portugal After a Chance Meeting in NYC

from yahoo

Sarah Leshner
Yahoo Travel profiles readers who came back from a trip with the best souvenir ever — true love. Want to share your own story? Email your story to traveleditors@yahoo.com.
They Got Married in Portugal After a Chance Meeting in NYC
On his first visit to the United States, Rodrigo met Sarah at a group dinner.
Who: Sarah Leshner and Rodrigo Carvalho 
 When: 2010 
 Where: NYC 
 Relationship: Married 
 (As told by Sarah) 
I was single in New York City, so for Memorial Day weekend in 2010, I made plans to go away with some friends. That’s when a different friend told me she was going to meet up with a guy who would be with a big group friends. She thought they were from Brazil, and I work in Latin America, so I thought it could be fun. Plus, I spoke Portuguese, so she wanted me to come along in case the guy she liked was talking about her. 
I changed my plans and went to the dinner, and as it turns out, the guys were all from Portugal. As I panned the room, I saw Rodrigo across the long table and pointed him out to my friend. I thought he was cute and told her that I liked him. Just like that, my friend pretended like we were in the 7thgrade and told everyone in the group that I thought Rodrigo was cute. It was just a matter of time before the message got down to his side of the table, and he came over to talk to me. 
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To my surprise, I found out that it was Rodrigo’s first night ever in the U.S. At the time he was living in Poland, and had just arrived in New York City to attend some meetings the following week. He was really jet lagged, but we had had a good conversation that night and made plans to hang out again. We hung out in New York City three times before Rodrigo had to return home. 
To hear him tell it, he fell in love with the U.S. right away. “I didn’t even say a word to these American girls and I hear that one of them likes me,” he always jokes. 
We stayed in touch, but I didn’t know when I was going to see him again. 
Six months later I was planning a trip to Israel with my friend. My job at the time required me to take a 2-week vacation all at once, so since I was only going to Israel for 10 days, I had five extra days at my disposal. I took a leap of faith and messaged Rodrigo to see if he wanted to meet me somewhere. He was totally game, and suggested that we meet in Istanbul. We spent Thanksgiving weekend together in Istanbul, and that’s when we knew that there was something special between us. A couple of weeks later, we saw each other over Christmas in Miami and New York. 
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