Tuesday, December 22, 2015

The Science Of Infidelity: Why Women Are More Likely To Cheat On Men

from elitedaily.com




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Okay, I know you might be outraged, but just stay with me for a minute.
New research shows women may be more likely to be the culprits of infidelity than men.
It’s not that women are more likely to cheat than men per se, but biologically and genetically, we possess different features that vary our behaviors.
This research is colossal because ideologically, we tend to assume men are the more likely culprits due evolutionary implications.
From a “survival of the fittest perspective,” it makes slightly more sense that they would spread their seed to as many women as possible.
Women, on the other hand, don’t share this evolutionary ideology, and are more so on the opposite spectrum: supposedly choosing most carefully a mate who we believe could provide and take care of us, although this obviously isn’t always the case.
Despite this, women may be more prone to cheat instead due to their hormones and genes. Richard Friedman lets us in on this secret in his op-ed, “Infidelity Lurks in Your Genes.”
The key word is vasopressin. Women who carry a type of genetic mutation in the receptor for this hormone are more likely to engage in infidelity, so maybe it’s not their fault?
The suggestion is carried by a recent study by a psychologist, Brendan P. Zietsch, at the University of Queensland, Australia.
Dr. Zietsch examined the link between promiscuity and the receptor genes of important hormones, like vasopressin and oxytocin.
Ever heard of oxytocin? If not, look it up, or better yet, read Louann Brizendine’s “The Female Brain.” It will clue you in on exactly how our bodies and brains work for us ladies.
But, back to oxytocin, it’s like the mitochondria of our feelings or, in other words, it’s really goddamn powerful.
It’s a hormone that also acts as a neurotransmitter in the brain and essentially increases our drive to romantically pair up.
It’s released on many occasions, but most evidently during sex. Vasopressin is another hormone, similar in nature, which has a great force on social behaviors associated with bonding, like trust, empathy and, of course, hooking up.
In his study, Dr. Zietsch examined the link between the wandering eye and variations in the oxytocin and vasopressin receptor genes in thousands of people who had been in a relationship for at least a year.
Why? Because mutations of the vasopressin receptor could also mutate one’s own sexual behavior.
Through the study, he found 6.4 percent of women, compared to 9.8 percent of men that year, had two or more sexual partners.
The caveat is Zietsch’s study discovered there was an association between five different variants of the vasopressin receptor gene, which was only found in women who participated in infidelity.
Thus, we ask, does this mean 40 percent of women who partake in a variation of infidelity can blame their genes?
For years, we’ve know how oxytocin and vasopressin are associated with relationships, both found in the opposite end of the infidelity pool.
Oxytocin is the reason one-night stands for women tend to be more difficult.
The hormone supplies emotional bonding, AKA feelings, so when women have sex, we release loads of it. Annoying, right?
This is why more often, women have sex with specific partners and biologically, we’ll want more than sex.
Another study from Hasse Walum at the Karolinska Institutet (Institute) in Stockholm found that in women, there is strong association between one variation of an oxytocin receptor gene and marital antagonism, or lack of fondness for one’s partner.
Similarly in men, this same predicament (of a lower marital discord) occurs, but in regard to a variation of the vasopressin receptor.
It is plausible though, even when conducting studies in animals. When looking at voles, a type of rodent, Dr. Thomas R. Insel found vasopressin acted differently in different species.
While the species are both related, montane voles tend to be more sexually promiscuous, and prairie voles are more of the monogamous type.
This means montane voles are likely to leave your place before breakfast while the prairie vole try to put a ring on it.
When looking at the way vasopressin responded in each of these species, Dr. Insel found vasopressin receptors lit up in completely different areas of the brain, which in turn, caused vastly different effects on behavior.
For prairie voles, their vasopressin receptors live close to the reward center of the brain, yet the montane voles’ receptors are located in the amygdala, which is linked to the ability to process anxiety and fear.
So, what does this mean for women? It may mean women have a higher likelihood to cheat if they possess these mutated vasopressin genes, but we know this cannot be the sole cause.
For one, we know there are tons of reasons that contribute to infidelity, many of which haven’t even been scientifically measured.
The study does emphasize the power hormones have on our behaviors, which often are misunderstood and underestimated.
Granted, I am by no means advocating everyone go out and attempt to get their genes tested, but I do believe it’s important that men and women actively seek to find more about their hormones and how they affect our choices and responses in relationships.
At the end of the day, this study will never negate the different reasons men and women engage in infidelity, whether it be socially, emotionally or physically.




Thursday, December 17, 2015

Confessions of an orgy addict

from nypost


Confessions of an orgy addict
Kinky threesome dating app 3nder — pronounced “Thrinder” to rhyme with “Tinder” — is going gangbusters after it recently raised $500,000 in funding from a pair of mystery investors. New York is 3nder’s second-biggest market behind California, and it’s particularly popular with millennials. Here, 27-year-old art student and 3nder user Melissa, who asked for her last name not to be published for professional reasons, tells Jane Ridley about her wild ride on the app, which connects both singles and couples looking for group sex.
Tip-toeing towards the bathroom, I try not to wake up the two guys, Matt and Andre, sleeping soundly in the king-sized bed where the three of us have just had sex.
After a wild night of drinking at a bar, we wound up at the Upper East Side townhouse where Matt lives and, let’s just say, made each other very happy.
For five crazy months between August and December 2014, I was a 3nder “unicorn” — an unattached female user of the trendy dating app that matches people seeking threesomes or more.
We’re called unicorns because, like the mythical animal, we’re pretty rare. Studies say the average single woman shies away from group sex, but there’s a small but growing minority of fast-living millennial girls who can’t get enough of it.
3nder is a gift for anyone like me who wouldn’t be caught dead on Craigslist. Just likeTinder, you log on via Facebook and are presented with pictures and profiles of choice people in your area. You swipe to the right if you’re interested, or to the left if you’re not. Then you can exchange texts and phone numbers. It’s an easy way to find both couples and singles.
I joined 3nder when I arrived in Manhattan from my native England for a trimester studying in the States. I’d just broken up with my boyfriend — a complete jerk — so it was my way of giving him the finger. Besides, I didn’t know anyone in New York and thought it would be a good way of making new friends, both male and female. I was miles away from home and all about experimentation.
At first, since I was a novice, I started meeting up with just single guys such as Matt, a twenty-something Harvard-educated Internet entrepreneur from the Upper East Side, and his stockbroker friend Andre. They were both straight and we were planning a foursome with my friend who was visiting from the UK. But she lost her nerve at the last minute so it ended up being just me and the two men.
It was a fantastic, freeing experience that opened up other opportunities for me to satisfy my curiosity and sleep with women, including other unicorns. Matt was the heir to his family’s fortune and loved to organize boozy orgies at luxury hotels in Manhattan, such as The Standard.
For five crazy months, I was a 3nder “unicorn” — an unattached female user of the trendy dating app that matches people seeking threesomes or more.
But the one I enjoyed best was held at The Doubletree in Chelsea where we had a “six-way” — four women and two men. I helped Matt set up a table of wine and vodka to get people in the mood. Then it was down to it. I only had intercourse with Andre, but did a lot of foreplay with the other women. Everyone had great bodies and super-sharp minds. They were all professionals like me — an art historian, a graphic artist and a web designer, for example. Far from being seedy, it felt exciting to break with convention and have sex with whomever we wanted.
After that, I went to about five “meetings,” as we euphemistically called them, which Matt hosted with other 3nder users. I also had sex outside of Matt’s circle with outgoing girls and guys whom I can only describe as being “broad-minded” like me — once with a 30-year-old woman whose husband was supposed to join us, but couldn’t make it because he was sent out of town on business. We always were safe and used condoms.
Since I returned to London in December last year, I’ve used 3nder occasionally but have never had sex with anyone through it. Nobody I met was anywhere near the same caliber as New Yorkers. In Manhattan, my partners included lawyers, CEOs, investment bankers or owners of start-ups. In London, the men — women were very few and far between — were universally creepy.
Now I have a steady boyfriend so I’m back to being monogamous. But I know he wouldn’t object to having another woman in the mix at some point. So hopefully I’ll be swiping right on 3nder soon.
FILED UNDER         

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Friday, November 6, 2015

Colorado Students Caught Trading Nude Photos by the Hundreds

from nytimes



By KATIE ROGERSNOV. 6, 2015



Students in Cañon City, Colo., could face criminal charges after an investigation found they were trading hundreds of nude pictures of themselves and other teenagers on their phones using special apps to keep the images secret, the schools superintendent said Friday.
The investigation began on Monday, and officials at Cañon City High School determined that students had been circulating between 300 and 400 illicit photos involving at least 100 students, said George Welsh, the superintendent of the Cañon City School District. Some of the students in the photos were eighth graders, and several of the students who possessed the pictures were members of the school’s football team, Mr. Welsh said.
Capt. Jim Cox of the Cañon City Police Department said Friday that no arrests had been made in the case.
Mr. Welsh said that the students had been using a “photo vault” app on their phones to hide activity from parents and teachers. The app looks like a calculator. After questioning the students, school officials and parents were able to figure out how the app worked and unlock the photos, but not without some fumbling around.
“I do believe one of our high school assistant principals was familiar with this particular app,” Mr. Welsh said. School officials and parents made the students divulge their passwords.
The photo vault apps have been available for Apple and Android phones for years and are the subject of many blog posts seeking to help adults understand how children conceal material on their phones.
Mr. Welsh, who arrived at Cañon City from another Colorado district four months ago, said that many school officials had not been “very good at targeting what’s appropriate with personal use” when it comes to students’ devices. The high school has about 1,000 students in grades 9 through 12, in a district with about 3,800.
Mr. Welsh could not say how many students were involved in the photo-sharing ring. But officials were able to determine that some photos had been taken on school property, in a locker room. The school canceled the football game scheduled for this weekend. The decision was made after football coaches said they could not confidently put players from the 45-player varsity squad on the field without knowing how many students had been involved, Mr. Welsh said.
As in many small towns, high school football is important to the city of 16,000. The decision to cancel the game and put the 100-student program out of commission was not easy, he said. “Had we won,” he said, “we would’ve tied for the league championship and had a real good chance to go on to the state playoffs.”
Mr. Welsh said that several students had been suspended, but would not say how many or if they were affiliated with the football team. No students have been expelled, he said. Officials were still trying to determine if the photo-sharing involved coercion or intimidation.
In a statement posted on Facebook on Wednesday, the school said the investigation had stemmed from student reports and a tip left with Colorado’s Safe2Tell program, which allows students to anonymously report threatening behavior. Students have said that the photo-sharing was widespread and occurred over a long period of time. Mr. Welsh questioned that claim, though he did say that authorities were still investigating.
“The total scope of this is not out there,” he said. “It’s possible that even as large as it is, all we’ve got is the tip of the iceberg.” It is probably a nationwide problem affecting other schools, he said.
The statement from the school district said that the Fremont County district attorney, Thom Ledoux, would be assessing whether to bring charges. Police officials are trying to determine if any adults were involved, and to find out if students were coerced to pose for any of the photos, the district said. Mr. Welsh said that he had “no indication” that any adults or teachers were involved, or that any of the photo-sharing occurred on school devices.
After the news broke, parents turned out in large numbers Thursday night at a community meeting with school and law enforcement officials. Some asked if their children could face criminal charges for sending a photo, as opposed to keeping or distributing the material. Mr. Ledoux told them that an underage student who sent an illicit photo could be liable, as could someone who kept the picture or sent it to someone else, Mr. Welsh said.
The superintendent said that the district attorney would evaluate the material on a case-by-case basis.
“I don’t think he wants to prosecute 100 kids for a class 3 felony,” Mr. Welsh said. The authorities, he said, would “deal with childhood mistakes as childhood mistakes, and deal with real cruelty as such.”